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Chuck Schneider
February 20, 2023, 4:02 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
February 20, 2023, 9:23 PM
Do you want me to pick Noah up for his game tomorrow at 10:00 at the jr high? Or will you bring him?
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Chuck Schneider
February 20, 2023, 4:17 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
February 20, 2023, 9:24 PM
Also, the kids haven’t called into the previous zoom meetings I’ve scheduled, but I want to try again. I planned one for tomorrow at 1:00 pm. Here’s the info: Topic: Schneider Kid Zoom Meeting Time: Feb 26, 2023 01:00 PM Mountain Time (US and Canada) Join Zoom Meeting https://us05web.zoom.us/j/6781250982?pwd=ZJxcFRVcmxmM0ZaOFMQ3lxSlJJdz09 Please have Hannah and David join in. Noah and Samuel are welcome to join too, if they want.
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Chuck Schneider
February 20, 2023, 8:53 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
February 20, 2023, 9:25 PM
By the way, I can’t control you, but I hope for Noah’s sake you will stay 25 feet away at the game tomorrow. Stop making things worse for the kids.
Rina’s Google Doc for Drafting Strategic Messages
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Rina Schneider
February 20, 2023, 9:26 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
February 21, 2023, 11:26 PM
Hey, Chuck, wow, it’s so cold right now! Hopefully the sun will peak out of the clouds soon!
I’m grateful that you communicate with me. I’m swamped right now, I’ll respond to all three messages you sent today as soon as I can. Probably on the 22rd.
Thanks so much. I’m so grateful we can work together.
Rina
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Chuck Schneider
February 23, 2023, 5:25 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
February 23, 2023, 7:37 PM
Hi Rina, Samuel left his backpack in the van when you picked him up on Friday. He was planning to get it yesterday, but forgot it. Will you take it to him at school?
Thanks,
Chuck
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Rina Schneider
February 23, 2023, 7:42 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
February 23, 2023, 9:16 PM
Evening, Chuck, another freezing cold day today!
Yes, Samuel has his backpack. Responding to your other messages, since it’s your parent time tomorrow, it seems logical for you to take him home? Or am I missing something, haha?
The Zoom meeting time is great. I’ll get the computer prepped for that and let the kids know.
As for the 25 feet, sounds good.
Thanks so much. I’m grateful we can work together.
Rina
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Chuck Schneider
March 16, 2023, 1:59 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
March 16, 2023, 3:06 PM
I would like us to coordinate devices for the kids. I’m happy to pay for half of Hanah’s phone. As I explained, the amounts you’ve asked for didn’t make sense to me. I need more information before I pay anything.
Dr. Calvin encouraged me to continue to have FaceTime and phone contact with David. I can set up zoom calls, if you like, but I don’t think this is a viable, long-term solution.
I’m sorry you feel like I’m more concerned about who shows up at Temple with David and that you think I am obstructing his spiritual progression. I have a very different perspective. There’s a reason why we encourage fathers to instruct their sons–because it is an important experience for them to share together. Right now, David is very confused and not acting normally. I think his spiritual progression is going to be best served by him talking to me about our faith. Avoiding his dad is really the thing stunting his progression. Please have him call me to talk about this.
Thanks for your consideration.
Chuck
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Rina Schneider
March 16, 2023, 3:16 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
March 20, 2023, 10:59 PM
Hi Chuck, I’m so glad the sun finally came out today! I’m sorry you’re having conflicts with David. He’s such a great kid. He’s really excited about his bar mitzvah. Hopefully you and Dr. Calvin can work out why he doesn’t want you to come?
I’m so happy to hear that we’ll be splitting Hannah’s expenses (see screenshot). I think the tag on OFW will change from “Chuck owes” to “Chuck paid” when you pay for them via OFWPay? Please send over a Zoom link and time any time you’d like to communicate with Hannah. I’ll do everything I can to help you have a good relationship with her as soon as possible.
Thanks so much. I’m so grateful we can work together!
Rina
Screenshot 1
Screenshot 2
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Chuck Schneider
March 22, 2023, 10:03 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
March 22, 2023, 10:32 PM
I am not paying because I don’t have enough information. I proposed a plan for expenses, and you have not responded to it. Just putting whatever we want on OFW without some guidelines/agreement is not a workable approach.
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Rina Schneider
March 22, 2023, 10:41 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
March 24, 2023, 7:32 AM
Hi, Chuck, the sunrise this morning was breathtaking!
Your plan looked like some sort of legal thing which I wasn’t equipped to comment on, haha. I’m so relieved we’re on the same page that we share the expenses as defined by the temporary court orders (see attached). Thanks for getting everything paid as soon as you can.
Thanks so much. I’m grateful we can work together.
Rina
Attachment
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Chuck Schneider
March 22, 2023, 10:03 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
March 22, 2023, 10:32 PM
I don’t think OFW is a very effective way to handle expenses. I much prefer using an excel spreadsheet. It has a lot more flexibility and tools. I have been willing to use it, but as long as it is full of expenses that are not part of the court order, it’s too difficult for me to make sense of it. Can we agree to remove all of the expenses that are not part of the court order? Please don’t add to the complication of the situation by making a fight out of it. On Tuesday, I went to pick up Noah on time, but he was late. I’m never late. toget him (although you frequently are). I had to pick Noah up at 8:00 and Samuel up at 8:00 at different locations, so I arranged with Jeff’s mom to let me pick Samuel up late. No big deal.
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Rina Schneider
March 22, 2023, 10:41 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
March 24, 2023, 7:32 AM
Hi, Chuck, let’s hope the sun comes out:). For the OFW expenses, no worries!
If you’re not loving your responses so far to the expenses, you can just go through and change them. Here are some tutorials about how OFW simplifies expenses: https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/product-features/expense-log https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBfbn8D6-60 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wv79WpuRBr4
After you didn’t respond to my messages about expenses sent on October 22, 29, November 2, 11, 12, 13, 25, 26, December 2, 4, 12 (I only included three screenshots, but you can see the rest in OFW), I realized there was no need for you to respond since the answers are obvious inside the expense log! Pretty cool, huh.
Since I’m not an accountant, I didn’t feel comfortable coming to any conclusions about the spreadsheets on my own. So I called Arthur, my accountant. He compared your spreadsheets with OFW and was impressed with how it ties specific payments to specific expenses, documenting clearly what is actually paid. Arthur thinks it’s the perfect system for co-parents like us. If you have any questions, just give him a call. I’m sure he can explain it better than I can.
About Tuesday, next time you’re unable to pick any of our children up on time, make sure to reach out. I’m here to help.
Thanks so much. I’m grateful we can work together.
Rina
Screenshot 1
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Rina Schneider
October 22, 2022, 6:49 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
Octber 22, 2021, 9:07 PM
Hi, Chuck, what a beautiful sunrise today. Did. you see those clouds?
My attorney wanted this written up with this amount of detail based on what happened at the hearing. Will you please answer the following questions in detail?
Do you support Hannah being involved in club volleyball? Yes / No
If yes . . .
-Will you pay your portion of fees?
-Will you pay your portion of tournaments including travel and food?
-Will you pay your portion of equipment including sports clothing?
-Will you pay your portion for the team social events?
-After the fees are entered into the OFW log, will you pay your portion of the fee within 48 hours?
-Will you pay for your portion of the expense via OFWPay, so that each individual expense is documented, confirmed, and accounted for?
Do you support Hannah being involved in school volleyball? Yes/No
-Will you pay your portion of fees?
-Will you pay your portion of tournaments/games including travel and food?
-Will you pay your portion of equipment including sports clothing?
-Will you pay your portion for the team social events?
-After the fees are entered into the OFW log, will you pay your portion of the fee within 48 hours?
-Will you pay for your portion of the expense via OFWPay, so that each individual expense is documented, confirmed, and accounted for?
Do you support David being involved in comp basketball? Yes / No
-Will you pay your portion of fees?
-Will you pay your portion of travel to events?
-Will you pay your portion of supplies/clothing?
-Will you pay your portion of equipment including sport clothing?
-Will you pay your portion for the team social events?
-After the fees are entered into the OFW log, will you pay your portion of the fee within 48 hours?
-Will you pay for your portion of the expense via OFWPay, so that each individual expense is documented, confirmed, and accounted for?
Do you support David being involved in the school play? Yes / No
-Will you pay your portion of fees?
-Will you pay your portion of travel to practices?
-Will you pay your portion of supplies/clothing?
-Will you pay your portion for the play social events?
-After the fees are entered into the OFW log, will you pay your portion of the fee within 48 hours?
-Will you pay for your portion of the expense via OFWPay, so that each individual expense is documented, confirmed, and accounted for?
Do you support Noah being involved in school track?
-Will you pay your portion of fees?
-Will you pay your portion of track meets including travel and food?
-Will you pay your portion of equipment including sports clothing?
-Will you pay your portion for the team social events?
-After the fees are entered into the OFW log, will you pay your portion of the fee within 48 hours?
-Will you pay for your portion of the expense via OFWPay, so that each individual expense is documented, confirmed, and accounted for?
Do you support Samuel being involved in city track?
-Will you pay your portion of fees?
-Will you pay your portion of track meets?
-Will you pay your portion of equipment including sports clothing?
-After the fees are entered into the OFW log, will you pay your portion of the fee within 48 hours?
-Will you pay for your portion of the expense via OFWPay, so that each individual expense is documented, confirmed, and accounted for?
Do you support Hannah being involved in the high school swim team?
-Will you pay your portion of fees?
-Will you pay your portion of swim meets including travel, food, and supplies?
-Will you pay your portion of equipment including sports clothing?
-Will you pay your portion for the team social events?
-After the fees are entered into the OFW log, will you pay your portion of the fee within 48 hours?
-Will you pay for your portion of the expense via OFWPay, so that each individual expense is documented, confirmed, and accounted for?
Then moving on to other items
Do you support Hannah in getting a summer job?
-Will you pay your portion for her to get lifeguard training?
-Will you pay your portion for equipment fees including sports clothing?
-Will you pay your portion for travel to and from a summer job?
-After the fees are entered into the OFW log, will you pay your portion of the fee within 48 hours?
-Will you pay for your portion of the expense via OFWPay, so that each individual expense is documented, confirmed, and accounted for?
Do you support the kids doing their regular summer camps and Hannah?
-Swim Camp (David and Noah)- June 28-July 1?
-Swim Camp (Hannah)- July 5-8
-Camp Ramah (Hannah)- June 7-10
-Volleyball Camp (Hannah)- June 19-23
-After the fees are entered into the OFW log, will you pay your portion of the fee within 48 hours?
-Will you pay for your portion of the expense via OFWPay, so that each individual expense is documented, confirmed, and accounted for?
Do you support the kids eating school and home lunch per their choice? YES/NO
-Will you pay the portion of home and school lunches that you use on your parent time?
-Will you pay half of David and Hannah’s home and school lunches?
I’m grateful we can get some clarity on these issues as we work together. Thank you so much!
Rina
Screenshot 2
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Rina Schneider
October 29, 2022, 6:49 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
Octber 29, 2021, 9:07 PM
Hi, Chuck, these fall leaves are incredible!
Regarding your financial situation, I’m willing to hear you out. Knowing exactly how you feel is super important as we co-parent together. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling financially. If you can’t afford to pay for the kids’ needs during your parent time it’s not a big deal. We can just let the judge know at the next hearing and maybe workout a payment plan? I look forward to a response to my message on October 22.
I appreciate that we can work together. Thank you so much!
Rina
Screenshot 3
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Rina Schneider
November 2, 2022, 6:49 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
November 2, 2021, 9:07 PM
Evening Chuck hopefully the sun will come out again soon:).
So that the court understands exactly what you can / can’t pay for, will you please answer the 3/22 message? Maybe you should ask your Mom or Dad, or perhaps your therapist to help you answer if you’re having trouble? I’m glad you have other people you can turn to for advice.
Let me know if you need help! Thanks so much!
Rina
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Chuck Schneider
April 5, 2023, 3:00 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
April 5, 2023, 6:12 PM
We dropped by to grab the swim passes, but they weren’t there. Please drop them off at my house asap.
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Rina Schneider
April 5, 2023, 6:28 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
April 5 , 2023, 11:23 PM
Chuck! What a beautiful sunset tonight – the clouds were totally pink with gold. I hope you got to see it!
I bet the kids would love to go swiming! To my knowledge the rec center sells swim passes online or if you can’t find the website, maybe you can call them?
Thanks so much! I’m grateful we can work together.
Rina
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Chuck Schneider
April 5, 2023, 3:00 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
April 5, 2023, 6:12 PM
Rina, I do not understand. When I go through the kid expenses, including the swim passes, you have owed me since December. When you paid for Hannah’s volleyball team, that was the first time we were about even. I have sent you my spreadsheet, so you have seen all the charges. Yes, we have disagreed about some expenses, and I really hope that we can find a way to agree. I have sent you compromise proposals. I have sent you proposed plans for how to split expenses. I am really trying for us to reach an agreement. If Arthur or a forensic accountant can help, great. In the meantime, please let the kids use their swim passes. Please stop punishing the kids because we can’t agree. We’ll work this out, but, in the meantime, you are preventing the kids from swimming unfairly.
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Rina Schneider
April 5, 2023, 6:28 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
April 5 , 2023, 11:23 PM
Hey, Chuck, I’m trying to help, but I can’t figure out what the problem is. Are you not able to use your credit or debit card? I think they take cash, so you could probably just stop by an ATM if your card isn’t working? I hope you can figure it out because it sounds like the kids really want to go swimming. Let me know if that doesn’t work. I’m here to help.
About your spreadsheets, I sent them to both my attorney and Arthur, and since they don’t include specific expenses, dates, or receipts, none of us can make heads or tails of them, haha. Maybe hire an accountant to help you? Once you pay for the expenses on OFWPay, everything will be very obvious that it was paid for, thank goodness. So that should save you some time and effort.
Thanks so much! I’m grateful we can work together.
Rina
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Chuck Schneider
April 17, 2023, 3:00 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
April 17, 2023, 6:12 PM
As I’ve mentioned before, when I netted out payments from March 14, 2022 on, you owed me money, so I’d just netted out payments you made to keep track of how much you owed me. The biggest charge is for Hannah’s volleyball, for which I explicitly asked the cost ahead of time because I thought it would likely be too expensive for her to do. I really do hope I can look at these expenses soon. Noah finished the only essay available for English. The other essay (due during your time, but I really think this pattern of assigning blame based on whose parent time it was us counterproductive) was not done and closed, but, at my request, he emailed Ms. Passy about letting him do it late. It sounds like she’s okayed that, which is good. He’s never missed a meeting that I was aware of during my time. Again, blaming us not useful. Our goal should be teaching Noah to be aware of what he needs to do and letting him learn to do those things. Your constant blaming of me is not co-parenting and is not helpful. For creative coding, he and I looked at his assignments, which can only be done in order. We couldn’t figure out what was wrong with his code, so we emailed Ms. Torfolk, but she didn’t email back until today. His grades being terrible is the consequence. This is his chance to learn that failing to do homework results in poor grades. I’m not going to send you a checklist, but I will tell Noah that you are concerned about his missing assignments.
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Rina Schneider
April 17, 2023, 6:28 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
April17 , 2023, 11:23 PM
Chuck! What a beautiful sunset tonight – the clouds were totally pink with gold. I hope you got to see it!
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time with the logged expenses. Let’s see if we can get on the same page. After you login to Our Family Wizard, click the Home drop down menu, then click Expenses (see screenshot). Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help.
Thanks so much! I’m grateful we can work together.
Rina
Screenshot
Journal Entry
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Rina Schneider
April 17, 2023, 6:47 PM
Created: April 17, 7:45 PM
Chuck punished Samuel by sending out with about 100 pounds of stuff all at once, as if to blame me for not letting Chuck come out to help due to the protective order. Samuel was struggling, and then he tripped and dropped everything and had trouble picking it up.
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Chuck Schneider
April 18, 2023, 9:47 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
April 18, 2023, 10:14 PM
I sent Samuel out, but did you see him trip? Him having to carry all of his and Noah’s stuff is just another way the protective order hurts the kids. For the sake of the kids, we need this conflict to end.
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Rina Schneider
April 19, 2023, 10:13 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
April 19 , 2023, 11:27 AM
Hey, Chuck, I hope these April showers bring May flowers, haha.
Since I’m not an attorney or a victim advocate, I don’t feel comfortable not following the recommendations of the prosecutor or victim advocate. They’re super friendly and helpful. If you have questions, rather than message me about it, they’d be the best people to talk to.
As for the conflict you’re having with the kids during your parent time, can you tell me more? I’m eager to help.
I agree with you that Noah’s backpack weighs too much for Samuel to take with all his other stuff and his own backpack. When we’ve been in that situation at my house, I encourage the kids to take more than one trip to ensure their safety. Another option is to use a wagon or wheel barrow and leave it at the curb for you to pick up later.
When you talk to Samuel about options to keep from overburdening himself, let me know how it goes.
Thanks so much! I’m grateful we can work together.
Rina
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Chuck Schneider
April 19, 2023, 4:31 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
April 19, 2023, 5:25 PM
I’m just worried about our kids. You have created so much conflict that impacts them every day. It seemed like maybe you weren’t aware of how you are hurting the kids, so I was trying to help you see what you are doing.
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Rina Schneider
April 19, 2023, 6:13 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
April 19, 2023, 10:18 PM
Hey, Chuck, what a beautiful day! So sunny and fresh. I just love spring.
Tell me more about what’s worrying you.
Hannah is doing great in school and so is David (see screenshots). They’re both involved in extracurricular activities and have great friends.
Noah and Samuel are happy and enjoy their homework and extra curricular activities during my parent time – they get regular sleep and enjoy hanging out with their friends. I’m so proud of our children. They’re amazing:).
It looks like Noah and Samuel have a lot of missing assignments from during your parent time, if that’s what you’re talking about, I see what you mean.
How are things going with the therapist? Let me know.
Because I keep all my conversations about you with the kids focused on only the topic of pick up and drop off times and therapy appointments, I guess I’m out of the loop about what’s happening over there. But I’d like to be in the loop, so any details you can send over are welcome, maybe send some screenshots?
(It occurs to me that maybe it caused some conflict when Samuel didn’t know he could take multiple trips? If so, don’t worry, I talked to Samuel about the life skill of taking multiple trips if the load is too heavy, so I doubt that will happen again:).
Thanks so much! I’m grateful we can work together.
Rina
Screenshot 1
Screenshot 2
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Chuck Schneider
April 25, 2023, 6:43 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
April 25, 2023, 7:25 PM
Hi Rina, I don’t have time right now to give you all the screenshots, but there are a few overarching issues that I see. The reality is that the kids have two safe, loving parents who want to be involved in their lives.
So, you acting like I’m not safe or me having to meet the kids at random places in the neighborhood to get them what they need creates tension and confusion. The kids need to learn to do hard things, like talking to people you don’t want to talk to. They need to see us interact civilly.
For example, child exchanges like, “Hey. Are the kids ready to go?” “Yes. I’ll send them right out.” “Thanks. I hope everything went well with ____ today.” “Yes, it did….okay, kids you get to go to dad’s house now. Have so much fun. I’ll see you at the midweek visit.”
Also, obviously, the protective order and related criminal charges are important, but you said we can’t talk about those things, so I won’t. But having law enforcement involved our divorce makes no sense and creates a lot of unnecessary stress for everyone, including the kids. But even the things the kids don’t know about contribute to an environment of stress for them. It also hurts them that I’m prevented from coaching their teams and volunteering at their schools. It also hurts them that we can’t both go to their events to support them.
It also hurts them that custody is still up in the air. Legally, it’s clear that we should have 50/50 custody, so I don’t know why we’ve spent the last almost two years fighting over custody, spending money on lawyers that we can’t now use for our kids.
Can’t we just split everything equally and move on with our lives? It also really hurts them that Hannah and David are allowed to ignore the parent time schedule. They need both parents in their lives. It also hurts them that we can’t work together around scheduling conflicts. It hurts them that I can’t afford to pay for things for them I would like to pay for. Those are just the things off the top of my head. For the sake of our kids, can we stop all this conflict and move on with our lives?
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Rina Schneider
April 25, 2023, 8:03 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
April 26, 2023, 9:52 AM
Hey, Chuck, the sunset was gorgeous. Did you see it?
Since the protective order outlines the types of interactions available to us, I’ll send this over to the prosecutor to see what he says.
Oh, I’m so sorry you’re having trouble remembering, but the court didn’t give Hannah or David any parent time with you until you’re able to repair your relationship with them in therapy. How has that been going?
I’m not sure that legally anything is clear at this point? I’m looking forward to the trial where everything will get hashed out “legally.”
And I’ll stay tuned for the screenshots, since the only interaction we have is via these messages on Our Family Wizard. Until then, maybe send some other examples, since these ones don’t make sense, lol. You’re totally able to coach for the team, for example. Unless the criminal stuff is the hold up?
I’m so grateful Our Family Wizard is the perfect place to work out scheduling conflicts, so just let me know when you have an issue and I’m sure we can work it out.
Thanks so much! I’m grateful we can work together.
Rina
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Chuck Schneider
April 26, 2023, 10:15 AM
To:
Rina Schneider
April 26, 2023, 11:25 AM
The only thing I’m struggling with is how all of the conflict in our divorce is hurting our kids. I’d love to get everything resolved so we can focus on the kids and parenting. I really hope that we can start working together at some point.
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Rina Schneider
April 26, 2023, 12:03 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
April 28, 2023, 6:52 PM
Hey, Chuck, what a beautiful, sunny afternoon! From my perspective, the divorce is moving forward really well. I’m sorry to hear that you’re having conflict with the divorce, is it your attorney?
I agree, the kids are experiencing a lot of conflict during your parent time. I’m hopeful that the new reunification therapist can help you work out the conflicts with the kids during your parent time. Let me know if you need any help with those reunification sessions.
Things are going well over here, so if I can help in any way, let me know.
Rina
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Chuck Schneider
May 4, 2023, 1:16 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
May 4, 2023, 6:29 PM
Wednesdays are difficult because I’m driving the kids to piano lessons, so I don’t have as much time to sit down and do homework with the kids. In fact, I’ve been thinking of switching my midweek visits to Thursdays. That way, they don’t have any activities and I can do homework with them.
Because of all of the conflict in our divorce, the professionals involved have decided that parallel parenting is going to be better for us than co-parenting. So, as I understand it, as long as there’s conflict, you shouldn’t be involved in any way with what happens at my house and I shouldn’t be involved in what happens over there. I’d love to stop the conflict. As I keep telling you, I think it is hurting our kids enormously.
Chuck
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Rina Schneider
May 4, 2023, 9:46 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
May 6, 2023, 11:13 AM
Hey, Chuck, this spring weather is so beautiful!
I totally agree about parallel parenting. The only issue is that the kids only have one life (have you seen Severance on Apple TV?? It’s so good! – it reminds me of parallel parenting, haha). Anyway, the kids aren’t not able to turn off their life when they go with one of us and turn it back on when they go back. Their activities, friends, homework, etc, happen during both our parent time, so I just don’t feel comfortable not co-parenting a little. I’m sure things will continue to improve if we continue communicating openly.
For the sake of the children, we both need to be involved in the one life they have. Wednesday enables both of us to be involved with their activities during our midweek parenting responsibilities. For example, with parallel parenting, we would not communicate at all about Noah’s basketball. However, he wanted me to coordinate his schedule for practice this week with you that happens not just on Wednesday, but also on Tuesday and Thursday.
Another example is Samuel has an ear infection. Samuel has done 7 of the 20 doses of antibiotics, but parallel parenting wouldn’t allow for me to talk to you about what happens at my house and then you wouldn’t know about continuing medical care. I have patients who parallel parent and then the treatment is disrupted or the children are never able to receive the entire treatment. For this reason, co-parenting makes sense. I put the antibiotics for Samuel’s in his piano bag. Let me know if you have any questions.
Another example is that in court on Monday, the GAL was talking about how David would know if Samuel wasn’t at school on time. I’d love for you to be more involved so you know why this occurs. See, David and Samuel’s classes line up outside the school together, in between the portables and the north doors, about seven feet apart from each other. Because of this, it’s been super obvious to David every time Samuel isn’t there when he walks in the school. So the reason David knows about Samuel being late is because he has eyeballs, haha. Due to his eyeballs, I’m afraid I can’t do anything to keep David from noticing when Samuel doesn’t arrive to school on time.
Since I’m not there to know what you observe and what you don’t observe, I’m not aware of what you know and what you don’t know. I so badly want you to be more involved so you know these little details about our kids lives – I think that’s why I feel uncomfortable not co-parenting since our kids need it so badly and Randle (my reunification therapist) supports this minimal coparenting strategy.
I’m so grateful we can work together. Thanks so much for letting me know your thoughts.
Rina
Jounral Entry
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Chuck Schneider
May 6, 2023, 1:16 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
May 6, 2023, 1:02 PM
I’ve been asking to co-parent with you since we separated. I’m ready to go-parent whenever you are. The only conflict I have is with you. It’s just that the protective order that makes things so complicated for our kids. For the sake of the kids, I want it to stop. It’s already irreparably damaged the kids.
Chuck
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Rina Schneider
May 6, 2023, 2:38 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
May 6, 2023, 3:21 PM
Hey, Chuck, that’s great news. I couldn’t agree more.
I’m so sorry you’re still experiencing conflict with the kids. I’m doing my best to support your relationship with them. Please let me know what else I can do. Hopefully the therapists can help you repair your relationship with the children soon.
I don’t feel comfortable getting into the details of the protective order. If you have questions about the protective order, contact the prosecutor. He’s the one I’ve been turning to for counsel.
I’m so grateful we can work together.
Rina
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Chuck Schneider
May 15, 2023, 7:02 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
May 15, 2023, 7:31 PM
Now that I better understand the way you read the protective order, I expect me dropping Samuel off at our house this morning would result in you calling the police again and more criminal charges, so I don’t think I can do that. At the preliminary hearing, I heard (for the first time) that you think we need to reach agreements on things before the kids go to activities.
Of course, I would prefer it if we were able to agree about the kids’ activities, but, given the way the last year and a half has gone, I don’t think agreement between us is ever likely, but I don’t want the kids to be hurt by our inability to agree on things. If you don’t want the kids to participate in sports or activities, that’s fine. But I’m going to support them. I hope someday we can start working together. The sooner the better. The last year and a half has damaged our children so much!
RS
Rina Schneider
May 15, 2023, 8:28 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
May 15, 2023, 11:06 PM
Evening, Chuck, another warm day today. I went for a walk and it was beautiful!
Sounds good!
I’m sorry you’re struggling with understanding the parameters of the protective order. The prosecutor has been the one I turn to for counsel. Perhaps give him a call?
Thanks so much!
Rina
CS
Chuck Schneider
May 18, 2023, 8:27 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
May 18, 2023, 9:46 PM
Our kids are tired of the ongoing divorce and deserve to have us focused on them and parenting without all the conflict and distraction of the divorce. The protective order has caused incalculable damage to our kids, including delaying the case by preventing us from talking about many of the issues. As you decide what to do next, for the sake of our kids, please consider a change in strategy that allows you and me to talk about the various outstanding divorce issues, so we can try to resolve them.
RS
Rina Schneider
May 18, 2023, 9:51 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
May 22, 2023, 4:29 PM
Hey, Chuck, I’m sitting here hoping tomorrow will be as nice as today was, right?
That’s great to hear you want to settle out of court:). Go ahead and sign the settlement my attorney sent over. If not, no worries, we’re prepping for the trial and things seem to be going well.
Prosecutors Sandoval and Bell wanted documentation of any messages from you about the protective order for their upcoming case, I think? So I’ll send your message over to them, especially because it’s not my area of expertise and not really something I want to interfere with.
If you have any questions about the protective order, they’d be the people to contact.
Again, so sorry you’re struggling with the kids during your parent time. Can you tell me exactly what’s going on, so I can help?
I’m so grateful we can communicate via OFW to make sure we’re on the same page. Thanks so much!
Rina
CS
Chuck Schneider
May 28, 2023, 7:16 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
May 28, 2023, 8:34 PM
I want to arrange for my two weeks with the kids this summer. At our March 21 hearing, I requested June 25 to July 9 because I didn’t know there were conflicts with the kids’ activities during that time. I’d like to have two weeks when the kids don’t have scheduling conflicts.
I finally had the time to go through the expenses. You can afford a lot of things that I cannot afford, but I do want us both to support the kids. Please review the attached spreadsheet (I find it much easier than combing through OFW). Will you look through the spreadsheet and provide information about each expense you’re claiming I need to pay? I don’t have enough information.
Please let me know if you have any questions about these. For the optional school expenses, I don’t think it makes sense for us to split these. We can both just pay for things during our parent time.
Please confirm that August 3-17 will work for my two weeks. Thanks, Chuck
RS
Rina Schneider
May 28, 2023, 8:54 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
June 1, 2023, 6:27 PM
Hey, Chuck, another beautiful day! The weather is just perfect, I love it!
Oh, no, did you miss the messages I sent on April 2, 10,12, 14, 24, and 27th in OFW messages, the kids have activities throughout the whole summer (see screenshot). But don’t stress, it’s totally okay if it’s too difficult for you to manage their activities during your parent time. I’m always here to help. If you’d like to drop them off back home, I can get them where they need to go.
Luckily there’s no need to worry about spreadsheets because whatever you pay through OFWPay will be the answer itself. That way we’ll have all the documentation in one place about your willingness to support the children. I think OFW is best considering your struggles with documentation.
I’ve read through this message here several times and I’m having trouble really understanding if you have any actual structure for the kids during your parent time. Would you mind sending over a concise outline of what the structure for homework, practice, screentime, and the corresponding boundaries are during your parent time so we can get on the same page?
I appreciate you taking the time to write. Hopefully the issues with your health can get resolved soon. I’m sure we’re both glad OFW that can clearly document what’s actually going on, so we can both be on the same page.
Rina
CS
Chuck Schneider
June 1, 2023, 9:52 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
June 3, 2023, 7:34 PM
Hi Rina,
It sounds like the kids are going to talk to Judge Santos on June 5 at 3:00 pm. Is that your understanding? It’s also my understanding that you were planning on driving all 4 kids to the court that day. Is that correct? Since that is the kids’ parent-time with me later that night, I wanted to coordinate that. Samuel gets out of school at 1:30; do you want to pick him up from my house around 2:30ish? Or would you rather that he just walk home to your house after school? Noah gets out of school at 3:00; do you want to get him out of school early so you can make it to the court on time? Let me know how you want to handle this.
After they meet with the judge, will you bring the kids back to my house?
Commissioner Wolsey also ordered supervised visits every other week. I didn’t plan anything for this week because we haven’t arranged things with a supervisor yet. I understand that you don’t want to use Annie Jackson (who I had chosen before). She charges $85/intake and does an intake interview with each parent. Then, she charges $75/hour with a two-hour minimum for the visits.
I also found another company that does supervised visits (ICU Investigations (https://supervised-visitation)). They charge $195 as a setup fee, and $75/hour for the visits (also a 2-hour minimum). (They also charge for travel time and have various other fees (including higher fees for holiday visits.)
I don’t think we need to agree on who the supervisor is, but, since we are both paying, I thought it would be useful to try to agree. Do you want to go with ICU?
I’ll try to schedule something once I hear back from you and we get the paperwork filled out. I don’t know how quickly this can happen, but I’d like the first visit to be at my house, so Hannah and David can open the presents I bought them. Maybe we could shoot for January 6 or 7th for the first visit, unless you think it would be easier to do it before school starts again.
Thanks,
Chuck
CS
Chuck Schneider
June 2, 2023, 8:15 AM
To:
Rina Schneider
June 3, 2023, 7:36 PM
Hi Rina,
I was concerned about the fees for ICU visits, so I found someone else who can do the supervision. It’s a company called Advocates for Children LLC. The phone number is 206-644-0276, and the email address is Advocatesfor-children@email.net. There is a $50 intake fee for each parent, and the visits are $50 hour (more if there are more kids). I spoke to the owner, and she said they could start right away.
How does that sound?
Thanks,
Chuck
CS
Chuck Schneider
June 2, 2023, 9:47 AM
To:
Rina Schneider
June 3, 2023, 7:38 PM
Also, the owner of Advocates for Children said that she will call you to answer any questions you may have.
CS
Chuck Schneider
June 2, 2023, 2:31 PM
To:
Rina Schneider
June 3, 2023, 7:38 PM
Hey Rina,
Judy at Advocates for Children told me she’d called you, but is waiting to hear back from you.
If you’d rather use ICU, I was told that we could get the 2023 prices ($150 set up fee; $65/hour for visits, etc.) if we sent the signed agreement by December 31 (tomorrow). I’m attaching the blank agreement to this message.
I think Advocates for Children will be great, but ICU visits would be fine too.
If you want to use ICU, will you sign your part and send it back ASAP? If you want to use Advocates for Children, will you fill out whatever they need from you?
Thanks,
Chuck
RS
Rina Schneider
June 3, 2023, 7:41 PM
To:
Chuck Schneider
June 5, 2023, 6:27 PM
Hey, Chuck, we’re in beautiful Vermont (see screenshot). Whoever you choose is fine. What did the therapists say, did they have a preference? Let me know.
Yep, I’ll get the kids to the judge on time.
Thanks so much. I’m so grateful we can work together.
Rina
Document Management Strategy
I used Google Drive to organize all the files. I created google sheet to document all the communication, so if they accuse me of not communicating I can give stats like “I send 4.8 emails every 3 days”