I explained to the occupational therapist that there was a mix up and that unilaterally scheduled the appointment during my parent time. I told her that if it is necessary for Trent to go to OT on Monday during my parent time that I will support that. She said it it not necessary and she indicated that it is counter productive to work with a child who is missing out on fun events during my parent time that we’re always doing. She indicated that the Monday appointment can be cancelled and rescheduled for a time that does not cause parent time conflict. She told me to talk to you and work out the next appointment. You need to reschedule for another day, not during my parent time. She said the most important thing is to work with Trent on the exercises in between sessions. I’m willing and able to support Trent in doing those exercises. You have not informed me of those exercises. If you want to coparent then you need to inform me of such things. Also the occupational therapist indicted that only four sessions are indicated at this time. There is plenty of time for those sessions to be completed later. The most important things is the exercises between sessions, that is where the real progress is gained. I’m available on Monday to be with the kids, therefore I am entitled to the parent time. When I pick up the children on Monday is not your choice. I will pick up the children at 3:00pm either at the school or your house. Which do you choose?

And October 1 won’t work for me.

Maureen, I will be more careful about what I agree to from now on. I would like to be on the same page about medical decisions. We have joint legal custody when it comes to medical decisions. You have made significant medical decisions without my input or consent including taking Trent to OT without notice/ detailed information. Please keep me informed and seek my input and consent prior to making such decisions. What if I just started making medical appointments without asking you?

The challenge with swimming is that it needs to be scheduled when everyone is available. I wish it could have been ironed out and planned many weeks ago, but that is not how it happened. It is great that you are capable of planning events months and years in advance. However, that is not always possible. It appears that we both need to be flexible. On numerous occasions you have informed me last minute about parties or events the children have been invited to. While I have no way of knowing whether it was possible for you to give me more advanced notice, I have been adaptable and I have cancelled plans and rearrange my schedule to accommodate those events. I kindly request that you offer the same flexibility. I will pick up the kids at 3 on the 30th. Thanks, Chuck

Maureen, Ty says he has a baseball game tonight? Stop manipulating the kids to take baseball.

Historically, you do not ask me for my input about the extra curricular activities. You unilaterally decide on their activities, sign them up and then request reimbursement. And then you don’t give me any information about any of their games or their coaches information. I am under no obligation to pay for activities I do not agree to. I am not looking to be the one who decides. There must be mutual agreement.

I do not agree to baseball for the boys. I do not agree to soccer for Sloan. The children’s talents and skills are in other activities. The boys do not have intrinsic motivation to practice or improve at baseball. They go to baseball because you insist on signing them up. However, there are better uses of their time and our money. What are they passionate about? What gets them excited?

Ty enjoys trombone. His lessons are extracurricular; they are not required. Ty enjoys and excels at STEM based activities and pursuits. Ty is a strong biker and climber and he enjoys both and gets excited about them.

I think Trent has potential as a wrestler. While he has struggles with his fine motor skills he has great strength and grit that could serve him well in wrestling and/or weight lifting for example. Perhaps there are other athletic interests he has. He excels at history, weapon history and enjoys computers.

Sloan is a very strong climber and biker and she gets super excited about it. She also loves dance. I see dance / acro/ tumbling as a good fit for her. Piano is not a good fit for Sloan at this time. She is not motivated to practice and even resists it. We have informed her piano teacher that she will be discontinuing piano after next week. 

I would appreciate your understanding on these points.

Chuck

I can’t open the attachments. It sounds like you are retrospectively accumulating expenses and asking for reimbursement. I will not pay those expenses.

Maureen, 

I spoke with a family law attorney, he is very familiar with your attorney, about the interpretation your attorney and you are asserting.

I now know that there are two scenarios or conditions where automatic reduction in support applies. First, the interpretation that the Automatic Reduction of Support applies to summer extended parent time is correct with regard to the portion of the law and decree that states “Pursuant to UTAH CODE ANN. §78B-12-216, Respondent’s base child support obligation shall be automatically reduced by: … b. Twenty-five percent (25%) for each child for time periods during which the child is with the Petitioner by order of the Court… for at least twelve (12) out of any thirty (30) consecutive days of extended parent time. “

The Order of the Court operating here is the decree of divorce and specifically the provision that governs summer extended parent time. In previous years I was ignorant of the fact that the summer extended parent time I have used applies towards reducing my support. Knowing that now, I have overpaid support during each of those summers dating back to 2017.

The second condition or scenario where automatic reduction of support is applies occurs when, “Pursuant to UTAH CODE ANN. §78B-12-216, Respondent’s base child support obligation shall be automatically reduced by: . . . or b. Twenty-five percent (25%) for each child for time periods during which the child is with the Petitioner by . . . or by written agreement of the parties for at least twelve (12) out of any thirty (30) consecutive days of extended parent time.”

The use of the conjunction “or” establishes alternatives – one alternative is court order and other alternative is mutual agreement. Therefore, for parent time that is by mutual agreement and meets the definition of “time periods during which the child is with the Petitioner . . . for at least twelve out of any thirty (30) consecutive days of extended parent time”.

In our situation, we have a written mutual agreement that I would have the children for an extended period of time which meets the definition of the decree and the statute for Automatic Reduction of Support.

It was also brought to my attention that the statute and the decree provide ” b. Twenty-five percent (25%) for each child”. The critical distinction here is “each child”. Here, technically, the reduction calculation comes out to a 75% reduction because there are three children.

Regarding the children’s devices. If I pay half will I get access to their devices and the accounts associated with them? I think their devices have location monitoring services. If I pay half I want equal access and benefits that you have.

Also, I don’t see why I have to pay for months in the past where I did not have access or utilization of the ability to communicate with them through their devices. That does not seem reasonable or fair.

I would like to come to mutual agreement about what it will cost me and the access I will have. I am willing to pay half of the original device cost / activation fee and half of the monthly service for months where I have equal access to their devices, the accounts, and ability to communicate with them using my phone, Jill’s phone and otherwise utilize the benefits that you have due to the children’s possession of the devices (watches / phones).

Thanks,
Chuck

Maureen,

Well, I have 2022 Spring break from March 25 at 6PM to April 4 drop off at school. That is 9 days, 14 hours, 30 minutes.

You get the Fall break this year from October 13th at 6PM to October 18rd at 8:30AM. That is 4 days, 14 hours, 30 minutes.

You get an end portion of Winter break, December 30th at 9:00AM to January 3rd at 8:30PM. That is 4 days, 11 hours, 30 minutes. Fall break time plus the end of Winter break time equals 9 days and one hour. That appears to be an even swap for Spring break.

Does that work?

Thanks,
Chuck